In 4 more days, it will be a year since the day the kids moved in. I have been reflecting on how much things have changed, and while I don't care to delve into all of the things we have dealt with in the past year, here on the blog, lets just say things have drastically changed in the year they have been here...the first day they came to visit us in December, Ezekiel ran and sat on the basement stairs, refused to even look at me, let alone talk to me, he refused to have his picture taken. Nijah was sucking on a sippy cup of kool-aid, and didn't really talk much either, smiled a few times, but thats about it, seemed very very shy HAHAHA...oh if I only knew lol...Kevin didn't really do much that I can think of...the first night they were here, our beloved Gunner(the dog) attacked Nijah on her head and after lots of tears and screams from her and I both, multiple stitches, chewed up and lost barrettes, an ambulance ride, and many many hours in the Emergency room, we were finally headed to bed after day 1...we ended up giving the dog to the man who previously owned him, as he was a single man with no children...well needless to say, he got remarried to his wife and his son moved back in and Gunner ended up biting him too so sadly he was put down several months later but at least he can't hurt anyone else now...but he was our baby for many years, so the same night we gained 3 kids, we lost our other baby...anyways, getting off track here...but back to the kids...after a year of manipulation and playing games, going from screaming and running away at the word broccoli to eating veggies on a daily basis without TOO much complaining, one time Ezekiel woke up at midnight singing at the top of his lungs and refused to go back to bed, just to see what would happen, and my amazing husband stayed up till 3 am to prove to him he WOULD be going back to sleep...we went through a phase of Nijah trashing her room, clothes everywhere, dresser and closet emptied anytime you would send her to her room...even broke a few small dresser drawers by throwing them against her bedroom door...we have taught them how to fold laundry, do dishes, help clean the house, vacuum, etc...we've endured screaming, slammed doors, throwing things, hearing i hate this house, I don't love you, over and over, day after day...oh and don't get me wrong, we still hear the screaming and crying and so on and so forth, and even though every new day brings its own new challenge, we sit back and think where we were a year ago, and how much the kids have grown physically but way more so emotionally, and spiritually!...none of our kids knew how to use their words when they were angry, for the first 6-9 months, Ezekiel would just shut down, refuse to talk or even really listen for that matter, they try to resort to screaming so they don't have to think or listen...we are getting somewhere with that one though...Praise GOD!! lol Now Ezekiel starts talking telling a story, and when he's done with the story about like how is day was at school...he says I want to tell you the whole story again Mom lol...alrighty then! :) But its great to hear him speak up, and fun to learn more about who he is since he is willing to share more now...
Above all though we have learned how to become a family....how to love one another and forgive one another, don't get me wrong, we still have lots of issues we deal with, but hey don't we all?! lol...we've learned that tomorrow is a new day, God is bigger than all of this, He brought us together for a reason, and I will never give up!! The other day Kevin said something during prayer that really did my heart some good....he said, "Thank you God for bringing us a mommy and daddy" and it really helped remind me that this isn't about the relationships lost or the awkwardness when people stare at us trying to figure it all, but it doesn't matter, because God put us together before we even knew each other, and I can't imagine it any other way...so next time, don't stare, come talk to me, I would love to tell you how loving a child who needs stability can be so rewarding...yeah, this isn't about us, or anything else...this is about children who simply needed, wanted, and longed for a stable home with a mommy and daddy who love them! People say all the time, they are so blessed to have you...maybe so, but we are the ones who are blessed even more!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Been Thinking....
I have really been wrestling with some things lately about teaching our children things about life...its quite complicated and it walks a fine line, and I don't think I am even very good at it at 26 years old, so how do I teach them?...here's my thoughts...how do I teach 6,5, and 4 year olds how to be IN the world but not OF it,like the Bible says... especially children who so far have spent the majority of their life being of the world, consumed by stuff, name brands, and not being told "No"....how do I teach them to love others as Christ loves, but not get hung up in the wrong crowd...how do I teach them to be sincere in their love, but yet hate what is evil...how do I tell them love everyone like Christ does, but pick good friends, but don't hang out with the boys who flip people off, or say bad words, or beat other kids up, thats not acceptable behavior, and its not choices God looks highly upon...
How do I teach them to tell the truth, when they know they will be disciplined for their actions either way, more so for lying, but how do you teach them the honorable thing, to act like Christ calls us to, to love like Christ does, to serve others, to care more about helping others or giving than about the amount of gifts on their birthday...
How??
The only thing I can come up with so far is by teaching them through God's Word, but equally, by example...Ouch! Seriously, lets be honest for a moment...its incredibly hard to love everyone...there are people you just don't naturally mesh with...and when you try to be kind, it might not be taken in a kind manner, and I know I'm not the only one who says fine, forget it...see God, I tried lol :) easy way out...but seriously I would like to know any insight on learning to love people who are of the world when we as Christians, are called to not be of the world?...I remember a Bible study I attended several years ago, I was sharing about a couple ladies I know and was trying to befriend, and I said we just don't really have anything in common, and I find it difficult to be around them, and the women in the group said its good you don't fit in with them if they are living for the world and you are living for God, you don't want to blend in with them...which is fine and sounds good on the surface, but how do you move past that? There's gotta be more!...and I want to teach my kids how to not get caught up in the ways of the world, but yet be personable enough that they can use their testimony to serve the Lord and lead others to Him!
How do you teach a 6 year old, 5 year old and a 4 year old how to be excited about helping provide food, shelter or water for families all over the world who are without, when they have expectations of all this excess they have been provided with for years. Well and lets be honest....being selfish is part of being human, we are all selfish at one time or another, good or bad, but how do you teach them to keep that to a minimum when in the past being selfish and demanding was a way of life?
I may not have all the answers, but thats ok, God does...and bottom line is we do a lot praying around here, for them,...for us to raise them right, to be good examples, be firm but fair, fun, loving parents. I am thankful for a wonderful church where they love to be, where they are LOVED and adored for who they are, not for the label on their clothes, or the logo on their shoes. Awanas and family devotions with memory verses has played a part as well...its quite awesome when one child isn't listening to hear another child recite, "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" LOL doesn't always bring them around, but still cool! :) Lastly...I think a lot of it has to be faith...faith that God will work it all out...faith that God will change their attitude, or their selfish ways...faith that God will change MY attitude, and faith that God will work on me with MY selfish ways as well, if for no other reason, but to be a better example to my kids.
How do I teach them to tell the truth, when they know they will be disciplined for their actions either way, more so for lying, but how do you teach them the honorable thing, to act like Christ calls us to, to love like Christ does, to serve others, to care more about helping others or giving than about the amount of gifts on their birthday...
How??
The only thing I can come up with so far is by teaching them through God's Word, but equally, by example...Ouch! Seriously, lets be honest for a moment...its incredibly hard to love everyone...there are people you just don't naturally mesh with...and when you try to be kind, it might not be taken in a kind manner, and I know I'm not the only one who says fine, forget it...see God, I tried lol :) easy way out...but seriously I would like to know any insight on learning to love people who are of the world when we as Christians, are called to not be of the world?...I remember a Bible study I attended several years ago, I was sharing about a couple ladies I know and was trying to befriend, and I said we just don't really have anything in common, and I find it difficult to be around them, and the women in the group said its good you don't fit in with them if they are living for the world and you are living for God, you don't want to blend in with them...which is fine and sounds good on the surface, but how do you move past that? There's gotta be more!...and I want to teach my kids how to not get caught up in the ways of the world, but yet be personable enough that they can use their testimony to serve the Lord and lead others to Him!
How do you teach a 6 year old, 5 year old and a 4 year old how to be excited about helping provide food, shelter or water for families all over the world who are without, when they have expectations of all this excess they have been provided with for years. Well and lets be honest....being selfish is part of being human, we are all selfish at one time or another, good or bad, but how do you teach them to keep that to a minimum when in the past being selfish and demanding was a way of life?
I may not have all the answers, but thats ok, God does...and bottom line is we do a lot praying around here, for them,...for us to raise them right, to be good examples, be firm but fair, fun, loving parents. I am thankful for a wonderful church where they love to be, where they are LOVED and adored for who they are, not for the label on their clothes, or the logo on their shoes. Awanas and family devotions with memory verses has played a part as well...its quite awesome when one child isn't listening to hear another child recite, "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" LOL doesn't always bring them around, but still cool! :) Lastly...I think a lot of it has to be faith...faith that God will work it all out...faith that God will change their attitude, or their selfish ways...faith that God will change MY attitude, and faith that God will work on me with MY selfish ways as well, if for no other reason, but to be a better example to my kids.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Random Ramblings
You know you shouldn't name your blog daily anything if you don't have time to blog daily huh? ugh...well I intended to blog daily even if it was just a picture...but here I am almost 2 weeks into this new blog and only have 3 posts...really? lol wow...well in reality my days fly by, and I look for good blog material through the day, but really it consists of school, lunch bags, snacks, book bags, homework, naps, diapers, laundry, etc...lol...and even though there are days that I want to pull my hair out, I wouldn't trade it for anything, I love it! But I think I should start forcing myself to blog daily and stop looking for any sort of glamorous blog material...after all this is the DAILY drake, and the daily life of being a drake isn't really all that glamorous. Its just our life, and thats the point of a blog after all isn't it? to share our life with all of you...
Ok so we have been working on putting up all the Christmas decorations around the house this week, and I was talking with the kids about Christmas and whether they had ever had a Christmas tree before or anything like that, and well the result in answers weren't the same so I don't really know, but it sounds like they either haven't had a tree before this year, or if they did it was a tiny table one...which either way...when you have kids in your family who you haven't known since birth you realize there might be a lot of things that you didn't get to experience their "first" of, especially with Kevin being 6...so I was pretty excited that this could be their first full size Christmas tree, and to be in a home surrounded by Christmas lights and decorations and practically a nativity set in every room LOL...which is quite funny in itself, because they keep going around the house asking where Jesus is HAHA :) love it. Oh and also they didn't have stockings before either, besides an aunt's house, but not their own stocking, should have seen the look on their face when they got to pick out their stocking and then I wrote their name on it...pretty cool...
In other news, can someone please tell me that a 3 year olds listening skills magically improve the day they turn 4, because if that is the case, I will be 1 happy Mama when February gets here!!! wow...hopefully early to bed tonight will be all she needs tomorrow to have an attitude change, sure would love that! would be a lot more fun around here!
On that same note, Baby M, is going through the phase where the answer to everything is "no". which is kind of funny, because she doesn't understand fully, so you get the same answer when you say do you want a cookie, or when you say, ok, its nap time...its always no, which then promptly leads to screaming if you don't get the cookie for her, or even if you don't get it fast enough, well and the crying sets in with the nap too, she says through whining..."no nap" lol YES NAP :) but she makes up for it all when she leans in to give me a kiss, and when I say I love you, she will repeat after you, but only better...I say, " say I" she says "I", then I say, " say love" and then she just says "you"...at least I think she gets what I am saying lol
Ok so we have been working on putting up all the Christmas decorations around the house this week, and I was talking with the kids about Christmas and whether they had ever had a Christmas tree before or anything like that, and well the result in answers weren't the same so I don't really know, but it sounds like they either haven't had a tree before this year, or if they did it was a tiny table one...which either way...when you have kids in your family who you haven't known since birth you realize there might be a lot of things that you didn't get to experience their "first" of, especially with Kevin being 6...so I was pretty excited that this could be their first full size Christmas tree, and to be in a home surrounded by Christmas lights and decorations and practically a nativity set in every room LOL...which is quite funny in itself, because they keep going around the house asking where Jesus is HAHA :) love it. Oh and also they didn't have stockings before either, besides an aunt's house, but not their own stocking, should have seen the look on their face when they got to pick out their stocking and then I wrote their name on it...pretty cool...
In other news, can someone please tell me that a 3 year olds listening skills magically improve the day they turn 4, because if that is the case, I will be 1 happy Mama when February gets here!!! wow...hopefully early to bed tonight will be all she needs tomorrow to have an attitude change, sure would love that! would be a lot more fun around here!
On that same note, Baby M, is going through the phase where the answer to everything is "no". which is kind of funny, because she doesn't understand fully, so you get the same answer when you say do you want a cookie, or when you say, ok, its nap time...its always no, which then promptly leads to screaming if you don't get the cookie for her, or even if you don't get it fast enough, well and the crying sets in with the nap too, she says through whining..."no nap" lol YES NAP :) but she makes up for it all when she leans in to give me a kiss, and when I say I love you, she will repeat after you, but only better...I say, " say I" she says "I", then I say, " say love" and then she just says "you"...at least I think she gets what I am saying lol
Friday, November 26, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
National Adoption Day!!!
What a more fun way to start this blog!! Welcome to our blog, and welcome to our ADOPTION DAY!!! Today we add 3 new kiddos to our family FOREVER!! More on them later. I will share lots more pictures in the upcoming days, but lets look back on this finalization day to the beginning of this entire journey! We began foster parenting classes in October 2009. Who would have known that a couple across the room from us would end up being some of the closest friends to us and to the children that are now a part of our family forever as well! Our classes ended November 2nd, and to our surprise we had our license 2 days later!!! But then began the waiting, and more waiting...once again thankfully we didn't have to wait very long, and got a phone call for a placement around December 10th with a move in date of January 15th! We were so happy, and even more excited to learn we were being blessed 3 times over!! And to add icing to the cake, they were already legally free for adoption! After Christmas last year, they came to our home for a visit and opened some Christmas gifts we had given them. They then moved in January 15th, and they have been here ever since! :) It has not all been flowers and rainbows for sure, but I wouldn't change a thing! We love them as if we had birthed them ourselves. In August, we added a 4th child to our family, but she is not legally free for adoption yet, so we won't be mentioning much about her on the blog yet, for confidentiality reasons, but we adore her and pray we are able to adopt her as well and however many other children God has for us in our future as well! Although we almost need a bigger van, so we'll see :)
So without further ado let me officially introduce my 3 oldest children to you!! Aren't they gorgeous?! I know, I'm biased!!
Our oldest is Kevin and he is 6 years old
Then next is Ezekiel and he is 5 years old
And then last but certainly not least is Nijah and she is almost 4
We are so very blessed and I look forward to being able to share more details of our life now!! Today is going to be a very fun day celebrating!! Thank you to everyone who has supported us along this journey, your thoughts and prayers mean the world to us! We are excited to see all what God has in store for us on this journey as it continues!
So without further ado let me officially introduce my 3 oldest children to you!! Aren't they gorgeous?! I know, I'm biased!!
Our oldest is Kevin and he is 6 years old
We are so very blessed and I look forward to being able to share more details of our life now!! Today is going to be a very fun day celebrating!! Thank you to everyone who has supported us along this journey, your thoughts and prayers mean the world to us! We are excited to see all what God has in store for us on this journey as it continues!
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